The Happiness Advantage

On the plane to and from New York, I read "The Happiness Advantage" by Shawn Achor. I have wanted to read this book since MAcc orientation. During orientation one of the professors gave a presentation on some of the lessons he learned from this book. He also showed us a clip from Shawn Achor’s ted talk – I was hooked.

The happiness advantage is based on the premise that society's formula for happiness is flawed. The theory is if we work hard and we are successful we will find happiness. The problem with this formula is that even when we achieve “success” by reaching a goal it doesn’t bring lasting happiness. Instead, we move on to the next goal. In this mentality, the goalpost to success gets pushed further and further back and happiness is always just over the horizon. 

The point of the happiness advantage is that the above formula is backward. There are numerous studies, detailed in the book, which show happiness is an indicator of success. If you promote happiness first then you are following a formula that gives you a better probability of success.

A lot of the information in this book can seem like common sense, but Shawn likes to point out that common sense is not common action. He teaches principles, based on research, which can be life-changing when applied. There are so many interesting principles covered in this book. While I learned from each one there are a few that stood out to me. 

The idea that resonated the most for me is that no matter the circumstances you have the ability to choose how to react. This ultimately decides how the circumstances will affect you. In the 1600s John Milton wrote, “The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven…” Milton was expressing this idea that regardless of external conditions we have control over our thoughts and attitudes. The science behind this idea is discussed in “The Happiness Advantage”. James Collins, author and business consultant wrote, “We are not imprisoned by our circumstances, our setbacks, our history, our mistakes, or even our staggering defeats along the way. We are freed by our choices." I like this quote because it isn’t our circumstances that determine our happiness, but rather our choices – happiness is a choice. This idea is central to my personal beliefs. One of my favorite books, “Man’s Search for Meaning” illustrates this concept. Viktor Frankl describes how he was able to find meaning and happiness during his ordeal as a prisoner in a concentration camp. This inspiring story shows the power of the human mind to rise above any circumstances. So much of my personal life philosophy is tied to these ideas. I have learned that I cannot control the circumstances, but I can control my reaction and while that doesn’t change the circumstance it does change my reality. Tal Ben-Shahar shared this sentiment, "Things do not necessarily happen for the best, but some people are able to make the best out of things that happen."

Research has shown the brain is adaptable and supports the idea that we can control our own happiness. According to Shawn Achor, the crucial factors that contribute to happiness include: pursuing meaningful life goals, scanning the world for opportunities, cultivating an optimistic and grateful mindset, and holding onto rich social relationships.

I really liked the things Shawn Achor had to say about gratitude. In his book, he suggests writing down for 21 days three things you are grateful for. It is important that these things are specific and detailed. They don’t have to be big things, but they do need to have happened that day. I gave this a try and for about a month I wrote three things I was grateful for in my journal. I noticed a few things 1 – my journal was much more positive than it had ever been. 2 – It got easier as the days went by to be more detailed and recognize the things I was grateful for. 3 – now that I am done it is easier to find things to be grateful for in life, even if I don’t write them down. I love this quote by Melody Beattie about the power of gratitude: “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, and confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”

In addition to recognizing the goodness and kindness around us, Shawn Achor also suggests spreading kindness. His challenge is to pick one day a week and make a point of committing 5 conscious acts of kindness. These acts need to be conscious when they are committed, they can’t be an act of kindness viewed in hindsight. Doing this helps rewire your brain to become happier. I am in the process of trying this suggestion out. I do like this quote by Ann Frank about kindness: “No one has ever become poor by giving.” I think that is true and my experience is that acts of kindness give as much to the giver as they do to the receiver.

One thing that stood out to me as I read the happiness advantage is how simple the suggestions were and yet how profound the impact could be from applying the suggestions. This famous saying by Archimedes is the basis for the main principle in “The Happiness Advantage”: "give me a lever long enough and a fulcrum on which to place it, and I shall move the world.” The point is that small successes can add up to major achievements. It is often the small acts repeated again and again until they become habits that create the most impactful change. In this book, Shawn Achor posits that the power to maximize our potential depends on two things. First, how much potential power and possibility we believe we have. Second, is the mindset with which we generate the power to change. The mindset is really a critical component. Robert Kennedy put it that, "Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly."

Shawn Achor ends his book on the same principle I want to use to end my thoughts. The principle is that our relationships are the greatest predictor of both happiness and high performance. As I reflect upon the happiest moments in my life they involve people. They involve shared experiences. True happiness comes as we love and serve and share our lives.

Happiness is a direction, not a place. - Sydney J. Harris